Working Titles I:2

Continued from Working Titles I:1.

[Richard exits DSR]

Joe: He’s a pleasant sort of fellow.

Charlie: He grows on you, [looking DSR] like mold on cheese. [He motions for Pastor Joe to sit on the sofa while taking his own seat in SL recliner.]

Joe: What seems to be his problem?

Charlie: He’s not a Runyon fan.

Joe: Oh! You heard I was as cast in the play.

Charlie: Yeah. Congrats!

Joe: Thanks. Hey, are you doing alright? You don’t seem to be yourself lately.

Charlie: I’m fine. I just have some personal stuff. Want some coffee?

Joe: Sure. [Charlie Exits to kitchen. Joe picks up magazine from side table then quickly puts it back down with cover face down. He then looks awkwardly around the apartment as Charlie returns, handing Joe his coffee and sitting in the SR recliner.]

Joe: Thanks. So, um, “personal stuff”?

Charlie: [Looking over shoulder to DSR] Stephanie and I broke up.

Joe: I’m sorry.

Charlie: It’s okay. It just has me all messed up.

Joe: You want to talk about it?

Charlie: No. not really.


Charlie: Okay. It’s kind of embarrassing.

Joe: So is preaching on a Sunday after playing a drunk on Saturday night, but we roll with it.


Joe: What I meant to say is, you have no reason to be embarrassed with me.

Charlie: I know that Pastor.


Charlie: Stephanie, well, she was a little…abusive.

Joe: How was she abusive?

Charlie: She…said pretty mean things. She called me a lot of names. But…

Joe: Go on.

Charlie: She hit me. A lot. She lost control sometimes, when we were alone. Sometimes…


Charlie: [Standing and looking DS, ashamed] She would throw things at me. Sometimes a lamp. Sometimes a knife. [Looks back at Joe and then back DS] Sometimes she would…you see, I never knew when it was about to happen.

Joe: Charlie.

Charlie: I know. Pretty lame, right? If I was a real man I should be able to handle some name calling.

Joe: It was more than name calling.

Charlie: Right. She did throw the occasional punch. And lamp.

Joe: And knife.

Charlie: Most of the time she was so wonderful, beautiful, loving… even kind. But then, out of nowhere…I really thought she was going to kill me.

[Doorbell. Richard comes running to answer front door, now fully dressed.]

Richard: Hey babe!

Kelly: [Warmly] Hey yourself.

[Richard kisses Kelly. Then Kelly sees others in room, breaks off kiss and crosses DSL.]

Joe: Good morning, Kelly!

Charlie: Good morning.

Kelly: Pastor Joe, Charlie. I did not see you there. How are you?

Richard: They’re fine. [Grabs Kelly’s band to pull her DSR. She releases his grip and sits in SL Recliner. Richard is not pleased.]

Kelly: What brings Pastor Joe to our neck of the woods.

Richard: [Aside to Kelly] His is not the neck I was concerned about. [Kelly ignores him]

Joe: I was just picking up some sexual harassment policy from Charlie here, for the church.

Charlie: Right, it’s right back here Pastor Joe. [Charlie leads Joe toward USL office.]

Kelly: The church needs sexual harassment policy?

Richard: I try not to ask questions.

Joe: Yes, well, actually the church already has a policy on sexual harassment. This policy is for a new charity we are starting for single mothers.

[Joe and Charlie exit.]

Richard: Finally alone.

Kelly: That’s not funny. You are embarrassing me.

Richard: Oh, come on! It’s just Charlie and the rev. They’re boring. You, on the other hand…

[Richard swoops in to kiss Kelly’s neck. She giggles at first but pushes him away.]

Kelly: Stop it! We need to talk.

Richard: Fine. Want some coffee?

Kelly: Yes, please.

[Richard exits USR to kitchen as Charlie and Joe enter USL, Joe is holding a document.]

Charlie: Just let me know if you need anything else.

Joe: Thanks, Charlie. What’s the damage?

Charlie: No charge, Pastor. You know that.

Joe: I know. And thank you. But I still feel the need to offer to pay you something. Thanks for all you do.

Charlie: [Aside] Look, Pastor, about that stuff I said, that’s just between us, okay?

Joe: Don’t worry. I honor the sanctity of the confessional.

Richard: [Off stage] It will just take a minute Kelly! Had to brew another pot!]

Charlie: Pastor?

Joe: Yeah.

Charlie: You are not a Catholic priest.

Joe: I know. But they do get all the cool clothes, and bling.

Charlie: [Chuckles.] Right. See you later.

Joe: Take care. [Joe exits USC. Charlie moves DSR to SR Recliner.]

Kelly: Hey Charlie.

Charlie: Hey Kelly.

Kelly: So, I haven’t seen Stephanie in a while.

Charlie: Yeah. Well. We…broke up.

Kelly: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I had no idea.

Charlie: Yeah.

Kelly: What happened?

Charlie: It just didn’t work out.

Richard: [Entering USR with coffee tray] Here you are, Sugar. Oh, [Sees Charlie and changes tone.] Charlie’s back.

Kelly: Richard. You didn’t tell me Charlie and Stephanie broke up.

Richard: They did?

Kelly: Charlie was just telling me about it.

Charlie: There’s nothing to tell, really.

Kelly: Charlie, you were together for a long time.

Richard: At least six months.

Charlie: Three year’s actually.

Kelly: How did it end so suddenly. She was always so loving toward you.

Charlie: It just…happened.

Richard: Clearly he doesn’t want to talk about it, Honey. Maybe we should just give him some space.

Kelly: You know what you need, Charlie?

Richard: Charlie’s a trooper, Hon. He’ll be fine.

Kelly: You need to start dating again!

Charlie: That is the opposite of what…

Richard: Of course. I know just the one…

Kelly: I have someone in mind…[together with above. ]

Kelly: Who were you going to say?

Richard: Cathy from 21B.

Kelly and Charlie: [Beat, then together] Your ex?!

Richard: Why not? She’s perfect for you.

Kelly: Don’t listen to him, Charlie.

Charlie: That tends to be my default position.

Kelly: I have just the lady in mind. My best friend from San Antonio is coming to visit me this weekend. Her name is Samantha. She has never been here and I have to work on Saturday. Maybe you can ask show her around.

Charlie: Oh, I don’t know.

Kelly: She’s smart and funny and…

Richard: …has a great personality?

Kelly: Sam is very pretty, Charlie.

Richard: I’m sure she is… [Receives look from Kelly and changes tone.] I’m sure she is!

Charlie: Look, Kelly, I appreciate your help, but…

Kelly: Think nothing of it. You’ll be doing me a favor.

Richard: I can show her around for you, Honey.

Kelly: You’ll be doing me a favor, Charlie.

Charlie: [Stands] Look! I’m not ready for this. I’m sorry. I need to get back to work. [He exits USL]

[Lights Fade out.]


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