Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. – Psalm 37:7-9 NIV
I’m single now. And it occurs to me I don’t stand a chance with single ladies who reads this blog. I may be sharing too much.
So much of my life has felt like I was being left behind. I have failed so many times at a great many things. I have struggled with forgiving others. But the person I find most challenging to forgive is myself. Forgiveness is essential on this journey.
I am not an evil person. But I have committed acts some called evil. I am not a fool. But I have done many foolish things. I consider myself a normal sinner. I think I have a good heart.
So why can’t I forgive myself?
It has taken me almost 50 years to learn what patience means. Patience has a strong connection to forgiveness. They say the difference between a comedy and a tragedy is where the author chooses to end the story. If you wait long enough, you will see an end to the drama, and the beginning of true happiness.
“Wait patiently.” “Do not fret.” These are phrases more easily spoken than practiced. Every time someone tells me not to worry or to be patient I want to beat them over the head with my work calendar. Perhaps the only reason I don’t is because my work calendar is digital.
“Refrain from anger.”
Oh, shut up!
Okay, I still need some work.
Yesterday, I spent some time with a local group that calls themselves “Rowdy Friends.” They meet every Saturday for coffee and conversation. They have a rule, no serious conversation. Laughter is welcome and appreciated.
I need to spend more time around people, and by myself, where the rule is laughter and no serious conversation is allowed. Don’t you?
Sometimes we place ourselves in environments where forgiveness is not allowed.
Forgiveness is about letting go and giving up, waiting for a better time and persisting for a brighter day, discarding anger and picking up lighter burdens, and laughing.
This past week was challenging; I was sick on Thanksgiving and unable to leave the house for two days. There was a time, not too long ago, when I would blame myself for such things as causing my own illness. No more.
As I begin the final 25% of my weight loss, I need to place myself in an environment where I can forgive myself, let go and persist, as selfish as that might sound.
For how can I truly forgive myself if I cannot forgive others? How can I forgive others if I cannot forgive myself?
Three Conversations 