Continued from Part III
When I attended Oklahoma Baptist University, I minored in music. I wanted to be a singer. But my music professor counseled me to choose another major. He had done all he could for me, but there was a huge problem. I could not sing. So, I changed my minor to philosophy.
Seven years later I had a major sinus surgery. Something wonderful happened. It helped drain my ears much better so I could hear pitch much more easily. And it changed the resonance of my voice.
It was another seven years before I started to sing regularly with a praise and worship team at church. I had made a joyful noise in church choirs in the past, but this was something else. In fact, it was a small church so the praise and worship team only consisted of myself and the music pastor.
And I was the pastor.
I was thriving in the role. It was challenging because it was a full-time job with only part time pay. But I was in my calling and loving every minute.
It lasted two years.
During this time I was walking up to seven miles a day and living the low-carb diet with some success. I was just over 300 pounds.
I had no one to share my pain.
Then, in January of 2006, the family home I grew up in burned to the ground. It was a total loss.
My parents ended up in a FEMA trailer. And in a few months after moving in, my mother, who was suffering from multiple sclerosis and advanced Type II diabetes, fell and shattered her shoulder.
My personal life had fallen apart. My dad was not able to take care of my mom by himself. My best friend and my love betrayed me. And my church could not handle a scandal, a scandal I wanted to protect it from.
I prayed to God to show me a way out of this.
Instead, He showed me a path through the fire.
I moved back into my parents home, a FEMA trailer. I left my church, my job, my best friend, my love, and my heart behind.
I was completely broken.
I was no longer singing.
Visits with my daughter were sporadic at best.
I began the most challenging job of my life, back-up caregiver for my mom.
And for over three years my eating was completely out of control. I ballooned up to over 450 pounds.
I did not know it yet, but there was a light at the end of this dark, long tunnel.
And a new voice waited on the other side.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5 NIV
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